I can't exactly say "I went to the movies tonight," because that would be an overwhelming understatement. I just had the most truly heartfelt movie experience EVER @ the Toronto International Film Festival (tiff) down at the AMC, in Younge n' Dundas Square.
Not only was the movie itself a dramatically true, and socially compelling story; but the screening was accompanied by the film’s director, producer, lead actress, another co star and the woman herself, who's story and life we'd just witnessed. All of them watching, crying, feeling, and experiencing all the same emotions we each felt along the films though provoking journey through a house slave’s reality. Followed with an open Q&A period, after the screening.
The movie itself was awe inspiring, and at one point in the film my jaw literally dropped open, as Malia reached out to her father, who was working just behind the shops beautiful glass doors. Not knowing she was there screaming for him to rescue her from the men who were holding her down on the cold ground, he carried on down the road, slinging garbage into a truck. Looking, tirelessly for his only daughter.
The actress, Wumni Mosaku, portrayed this re enactment with perfect desperation and despair. The films director, Gabriel Range, created this sceen so perfectly and beautifully, that you just couldn't help being pulled in to the emotional impact Malia must have felt as her father, her reason for carrying on in this horrible house as a slave, drove away from her, and she was captured once again.
Some of the uniqueness of last nights experience wasn't just the film itself or the Q&A that followed; but like many films of its type, you were drawn so deeply in to the story and its emotions while watching, you almost forgot that the story was real and that someone actually lived it. You're only in a room, watching it from the safety of your seat.
The reality of the film struck anew, when the scene where Malai was torn from her only friend and beaten brutally with a garden hose, and the sound of a hard pain filled crying filled the room. At first I thought it was just a voice over placed in the movie for dramatic effect. Perhaps the older Malia in the film crying during remembering the event; but then the sound didn't coincide with the scene. The scene changed to something quieter and off topic, and the crying not only continued, it got more erratic and amplified through the theatre. It was then that I was pulled from the movie screen, and I remembered not only was this story real; but the woman herself was right here, watching it with us.
I was shocked.
And as I sat in my seat, my heart went out to her. I turned to see a small woman, smaller than the character in the movie, hunched over and hardly able to move, being ushered out by 2 friends. If my son had not been with me, I would fled by her side in an instant. Taken her in my arms and given her some of my own strength, to help her to through her pain. But Sebi was there, and I just couldn't leave his side. I leaned to Seb and told him what was happening. That the woman was crying behind us. That the story was more than just 'real' it was something she herself had lived and lived through, and that we were fortunate to be here and witness all of this happening.
When you see a true story or documentary, you know in your head that it is real; but when you see it and feel the pain of the person who lived it; I'm sorry but despite how much we might try to understand films and their messages, it just doesn't get any more real than that!
I wondered about Malia the rest of the screening, hoped she was OK and thinking how it must feel to actually see your life played out in front of you like that. Most of us, despite some random troubles and heartaches in our lives could watch ourselves and our lives being re enacted without much of a reaction, if any.
For Malia, who was taken from the security of a family who loved her, beaten down physically and emotionally, stripped of everything she had but her spirit, it was a truly tragic event.
Through the rest of the film, I heard her cry a few more times; but nothing like that breaking of her spirit during the first major devastation brought on by her 'master.'
I wondered how being conditioned by someone to believe you are nothing, to feel you are nothing, and to be so emotionally broken must have really felt.
I've seen some dramatic movies in my time; but never have I experienced such a connection to the film with everyone there with me, right there in the room.
As I stated earlier in my writing this, this was a movie going experience like I have never experienced before.
As the credits rolled, some people left their seats. Sebi wanted to leave as well; but I told him we should stay and wait for others to leave before traipsing along the row, and disturbing those around us. He sat still a few more minutes, and decided he couldn’t take it anymore, he need to leave. I wasn't sure if it was boredom of the credits or if he needed to ask me something about what he'd just seen, so I said yes and we left our seats.
As I left the last seat in the row, I stumbled out a bit and bumped into non other than the woman herself. I accidently touched her hand while leaving, she grasped on to me and squeezed. I squeezed back. Her hands were so soft that the tissue she was clasping felt rough by comparison. Her fingers were cold and smooth; delicate, and shaking. As Seb grabbed my arm and dragged me from my falling state, I looked into her face, and she was so frail, fragile and yet so beautifully hopeful, I wanted to tell her something, but I was dragged away by my son, and our fingers slipped apart. I did receive the chance to give her a sympathetic smile while our eyes met, and she returned it with understanding and hope in her face and all its features. He smile was one, that if she had been truly happy, she would have lighted the room. Her strength was so incredible, and so inspirational, I wasn't sure if she realized how the simple sharing of her story would help so many others in this world.
We were torn apart. she was to the stage and I was heading out with my son. I stopped Seb and said we had to stay. They were going to take questions and I didn't want to miss it. I knew he wouldn't want to miss that either, despite his general boredom following the credits. He's as inquisitive as I am, more so I think, going by all the complex thoughts and questions he has at the tender age 9.
Applause, ovations and questions followed screening.
I asked Malia about her father. during the film they searched and hoped for each other endlessly, and at the end, in the last scene, she had found him. Only on the telephone and they cried. I asked her if she had gotten the chance to see him in person since the abduction and how their relationship had been impacted by the trauma of events.
She said that she was able to see him soon after gaining her freedom. She spent 2 weeks with her family in Africa, before returning to London to carry on with her life.
During the questions that followed Malia exhibited so much strength and determination. She was looking to not only shed light on the subject of slavery in this modern time; but to prevent it by setting up foundations to educate young women in her native part of the world. Stating that education, is the key to success and personal freedom.
Many other questions were asked; but one of the most simple was asked by a young boy, the youngest person in the room, my son. With his hand outstretched, and his mind racing with questions and emotions, my baby asked the cast, crew and Malia, "how did the movie make you feel?"
Each one answered the question differently, as each had a different role in the making of the movie and it impacted their hearts in a different manor. The producer was all about the message the film portrayed, the fact that she was so proud in being a part of making this story come to life and be shown with such great emotion and detail, and that it was both difficult and beautiful to watch. The director was again all about the message of stopping modern day slavery, and shedding light on it in attempt to gain ground in the battle of it's true modern day abolishment.
The actress who played Malia, was impacted greatly by the story. She said she had separate the 2 character 'Maila' and 'Slave' into two separate parts in order to play out the role successfully. That Maila, although she was in fact the slave of the home, was an entirely different person than slave. Malia had hopes, dreams and courage, while slave was empty shell of sub servitude and obedience. It was Maila who tried to escape so many times; but it was slave and slaves hopeless, helplessness who kept them trapped there for so long. Wumi had a difficult time answering this though. It was plain to see that it was not only a emotionally difficult role to play; but that playing the role had definitely impacted her life as a whole. She said she felt lucky to be a part of it, but that she also felt guilty too. Guilty that she had such a good life. Guilty that was able to experience Malia's life without having to live it in actuality. Guilty that she had such a part so rich in dynamics and meaning, and guilty too that she could leave that life at the work day and retreat to the safety of her own.
The co-starring actor who accompanied the rest, had only a small role to play in the film. He came in from time to time as a man walking down the street out front of Malia's slave bound house, to whom she would call to for help when ever she was him. He passed the home many times without stopping, until one day he came and found out she was a slave trapped, and begging for freedom. He played the character who saved her, drove her safety and housed her as she received a call from her father. With the many roles in this film and all the impacting portrayals, his would have been seen as a bit role by many. He stated that fact while answering Seb's question, that it wasn't a 'major role' by most standards; but that he felt lucky to be in the film in both a general sense, and also to be playing the most important role in Malia's life, as the man who lead her to freedom.
As the question fell to Malia herself (who had already answered it as a direct question put to her alone) she was invigorated again by her cause. She said that the entire reason for the sharing of her story was to STOP it from happening to another person ever again. Her previous plight was received with light humour at her excitement, and I believe she may have felt as though the cause wasn't been taken entirely seriously in it's first introduction to the audience. So this time she was much more determined to focus on the importance of stopping slavery, and letting everyone know that it was a serious issue.
I felt her frustrations. When she answered the question t5he first time and introduced her foundation, she smiled, and people laughed at her cuteness as she asked them to donate. as cute as she is and as much as I'm sure she hates asking for money, the cause and it's motivation are real, and should be thought of as a brilliant step to helping many others avoid this kind of terroristic abuse. Her Foundation can be seen here MendeNazer.org and is seriously something worth looking into.
After the Q&A I talked to Seb and told him how proud I was that he had the courage to put up his hand and ask his question. As through much of the movie, I reached out and touched him. Rubbed his back and gave him a slight, hopefully un embarrassing side hug, to show him my love and support. We hugged, touched and cuddled much of the movie. I found myself kissing his hand and forehead at times when the parental issues came on the screen. Rubbing him arm with love and reassurance. Understanding his thoughts and questions without voicing them, and feeling his emotions through the entire screening.
It was a dramatic screening, even devastating at times, and I'm sure many parents couldn't understand why I would have brought my 9 year old such a film bearing such reality and hardships. But that's just it. i wouldn't take any 9 year old to see something like this, because most 9 year olds couldn't understand, appreciate and handle something of this magnitude; but Sebi can, and therein lies the difference.
I've often referred to Seb as 'an old soul' and he truly is unlike most children his age. He has a better understanding than some adults of life, people and compassion, and he's smart enough to know that although these kinds of things do happen, he is (and always will be) safe and loved within his family.
Many people came up to him after the film and praised him for asking such a great question.
As I watched the many film goers exit the theatre, I realized that there wasn't a person under the age 18, anywhere in the room. I second guessed my bringing Seb for a moment. I wasn't sure I chosen this film and its content wisely, and his favour; but as many people passed me with disgust in their eyes, there were many others who smiled at me and Seb with the understanding that he is a unique and special boy capable of understanding things well beyond his age.
At least 5 people praised Seb for his question, and the last woman thought he might be 12; but we corrected her and told her he was only 9. She was astonished that he was able to watch and understand that film. She said he was a very smart young man, and she used to be a school teacher, so she definitely knew. "There's not many kids that could watch the movie," she said, "and you're only nine! What an exceptionally smart young man you are."
I thanked her.
She asked if I was his mother, and I proudly replied, "Yes I am!" while rubbing his back again.
"Good job mom." she encouraged me, "you've got a real smart boy here. You've done very well with him, and you should be proud."
I was proud, and I told her and Seb so instantly.
As we walked to the car Sebi kept asking me why so many people thought he had asked such a great question? That it was an easy question and he surprised that no one asked it themselves.
I tried to explain that it wasn't merely the question, but more the thought behind the question, and it's coming from a person of such a young age.
"Sometimes grown ups forget to ask the easy questions hun. We get caught up in the politics and issues, and finding an answer, rather than connecting to the basic emotions and feelings of events." I explained. "Also," I added, "in case you hadn't noticed, you were by far the youngest person in the room. This isn't a movie that parents would traditionally take their children to see, because they would have a very difficult time understanding it. You not only understood it, you felt it. And in feeling it you were smart enough to wonder what other people were thinking, and brave enough to ask that question, in a room surrounded by adults."
He looked bewildered, so I explained it a bit more plainly for him, "People aren't so much impressed with your question hunny, although it was a good one, they're impressed by YOU. your understanding, your curiosity and your bravery. What they're saying is 'good job' by saying 'good question.' Understand?"
He kind of understood and kind of didn't understand; but he was utterly amazed by other amazement with him, because much like his mother, we believe we are who we are, good or bad, and we're always looking to understand more people, their lives and perspectives as whole.
WE talked long and hard about the film, the feelings it made us feel, when how and why we felt such things, etc...
It was a great experience in so many ways, and Sebi even said it was the greatest night of his life.
I always tell him how special and unique he is; but as his mother I don't think he really believes me when I say it. Having so many people appreciate and comment on him and his perceptions, made him see that like always, mother really does know best.
I highly recommend seeing this film, as a comparison I would put it next to such acclaimed films as 'The Color Purple' and 'Precious' A book and film Oprah Winfrey would adore, I'm sure if she come to tiff, it will be one of her favourites of the 2010 line up.
Details of 'I AM SLAVE' can be seen here: tiff.com and if it ever comes to video stores, watch it and remember this story as feel every impacting moment, deep within your soul.
Toronto International Film Festival
the 2010 film screening:
I AM SLAVE
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