1st Day of School

All over the country children, and adults alike, are getting up and getting ready for their first day of school.

It's a bitter/sweet time for families everywhere.  After a long summer break it becomes evident that the kids really do need to get back to school.  But as much as they they need it, and we need the break, we know that we'll miss the playful cries they made as they would terrorize the house and each other through those warm, fun filled, summer months.

Today is Sebi's first day of school in a new school and city.  It's Anna's first day of school EVER, and it's my first day of school in a long, long time.

Even though each of our dynamics are different, we all excited, nervous, and a bit scared by our new schools and situations.

Seb is more worried about making new friends in his school than anything else. Anna's not sure what to expect, so the entire process is a bit scary for her.  As for myself, I think  my classes are what 'scare' me the most, or at the very least passing them, especially math as it's my worst subject of all.

The great thing is though, that despite our fears and being nervous about our new surroundings, we are all excited to get out there and see what our newest adventure will be.  Each of us will make new friends, each of us will learn new things, and each of will will need some help in the areas that we find difficult, and each of us has each other for love and support.

I'm in a much better place now than I was last year, and I hope that my own strength and determination will set the example for my children.  I was amazed last week at my orientation when they said that 60,000 people apply each year to Humber, and only 10,000 people get in.  I'm one of the 10,000.  One of the 1 in 6 odds of making the grade for acceptance, and that makes me so proud to be here.  When I told Sebi those odds he wasn't quite sure what that meant.  So to put it a bit more clearly I said, "Basically hunny, I beat 50,000 other people to get that one spot in my school."

His eyes opened in amazement as his mouth dropped into a wonderous, "WOW Mom!  you must be really smart!"

I laughed and answered him by stating that I wasn't sure how 'smart' that made me; but I was certainly very lucky, and determined to prove to Humber that I was in fact good enough to hold that 1 in 6 spot.

He told me that I was super smart and that he was very proud of me.

Even now I can almost cry by the feeling of his love and pride.  It's beautiful the way he can be so sweet sometimes.

As for Anna, she's used to having me be the stay at home mom I've been for her entire life.  So she keeps "wishing her mommy didn't have to go school" out loud, and every few hours.  It's so cute; but it dose break my heart a little bit each time I hear it.

I know it's hard for her to understand, it's hard for me too to feel and deal with it each day too.  But it's a big sacrifice in making an improvement the entire family can benefit from in the end.  With my education comes a whole new life and future for me and the kids.

Am I afraid of failure?  Of course I am.  I think almost everyone is at the beginning of a new venture; but even though I'm afraid, I focus on the success of it, and my strong suites.  Not on my weaker attributes and insecurities.

Going back to school excites me.  It ignites a fire in me that I'd lost for a long, long time.  I'm glad to be taking on this project of self improvement and working towards bigger and better in life.  I see what happens when you give up.  I've been there!  Quitting and failure are not an option.  There's no room for fear, only determination and success.

Attitude determines altitude- and that's where it all falls into place.  If you focus on fears and inadequacies, you're never gonna make it, and your journey , though planned with good intentions, is doomed before it's even begun.

Focus on the positive, the good things, your strong suites, and your goals.

The Positive:

- I GOT IN!  So that right there proves that I'm capable of doing this!

- I'm able to receive OSAP funding for school, making this a much more feasible and comfortable endeavor.

- I've found a suitable place for us to live, that provides close access to our schools, the downtown core and isn't too far from our KW home base.

The Good Things:

- I'm an open minded, friendly and out going person who enjoys life/living, and can make friends easily.

-Though I may look like Medusa in the mornings and I need 2 gallons of coffee before I can function, I clean up and gear up well for business or social events when needed.

-I have a great sense of humor that makes people smile and can tactfully brighten sensitive situations.

-I'm warm, caring, giving, and loving, and I genuinely care for people and their situations.

-I'm strong, intelligent and passionate about life and my own success.

My Strong Suites:

-Determination!  I've got that in spades.

-Passion!  I throw my self whole heartedly into everything I do.

-Communication.  I love to write, and I feel very comfortable speaking in both one on one and in public settings.

-Curiosity.  I'm always looking to learn new things, or find out more about those things that interest me.  Understanding 'why' & 'how' things happen has always fascinated me.

-Love.  I have a good strong heart that powers me through many things in life.

-Intellect.  Though I struggle in math and I'm fairly poor speller by nature, I am strong minded, quick to learn, and virtual 'font of useless information; which usually comes in quite handy at times.

-Open.  I've always been open to new people, new things and different cultures, religions, languages, etc...  I believe that we all serve a purpose and have something to contribute this world.

-Optimistic.  I search and see a silver lining around every cloud.  Even though it may be faint at times to see, it's always there if you look hard enough!

-Life experience.  I've done and seen a lot of things in my short time on this earth, and while not all of it was good or positive, it lends a piece to who I am as a whole and what I have to contribute to my life and learning.

My Goals:

-My first major goal is to never go hungry again.  A bit Scarlet O 'Harra in essence; but still very true in the same.  I will never again not have enough money to feed my family.  I will never again not be able to pay my bills.  I will never again not be able to get my children small every day treats because we can't afford them.  I will never again not be able to take my kids on outings and to the show because it's not in our budget.  Ergo, "I WILL NEVER HUNGRY AGAIN!"

-I will be self reliant and self sufficient.  I will never have to depend on anyone to take of my financial needs or look for financial aid ever again.

-I will be a good student and set a good example to my children to do the same with their own education and futures.

-I will work hard and to the best of my ability at all times, making the most of this opportunity to grow and learn as much as possible.

-I will set new goals all the time, so that I am always striving towards something bigger and better.  Never 'settling' and always trying to gain new successes, and new adding substance to my life all the time.

These are my own personal short term goals, and while my long term goals are bigger and better, I'll have to save those for another time.  It's 6:21am and I have to get ready to wake up Seb for school, pack lunches and all that fun first day of school jazz.

To any student reading this, Have a great 1st Day of School!

To anyone else, Have a Wonderful Tuesday and remember- Life is what you make, so get out there & START LIVING NOW!!!

ttys